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Sometimes sitting quietly in a waiting room can bring you the clarity that you need. I like to call it the joy of being bored.

For the last few months, I have been in the process of taking care of my dad’s estate. I haven’t been doing it alone, but it is a lot of tedious paperwork.

It also means I have spent lots of time waiting. At the bank, on the phone listening to horrible hold music, at the courthouse.

Most recently, it was at the lawyers’ office. No one was running behind, and there were no problems, it was just one of those things. There I sat there in the lobby, surrounded by strangers.

I didn’t pull out my phone and scroll through Instagram, I didn’t pop in an earbud and turn on an audiobook. I didn’t even pick up a magazine or newspaper.

But while I was sitting there with my thoughts something magical happened.

You see, not only am I dealing with estate issues, but I have also been working anywhere between 50-60 hours a week at the day job. Sitting in the lobby, I was stressed out, tired, over-caffeinated, and a bit hungry.

But as I sat there and stared out the window, my mind started to slow.

• I stopped thinking about work and the self-imposed guilty about leaving early. (Mind you, I left an hour before the official end of my workday, but still managed to work 9 hours).

• I focused on what truly needed to get done and what was unnecessary.

• I calmed myself and stopped being annoyed by all of those little things that, when all bottled up, make you angry AF.

Soon enough, the lawyer came out and got me; I signed the paperwork I need to sign and left the office feeling lighter, just by staring out the window for 30 minutes.

PS – Self Care at Work

Life is coming at us fast these days, and that leads to stress and anxiety. The solution? Deliberate Unawareness for Self Care.

I know this isn’t news to you, but the information is coming at us fast and furious these days. With that and the hyper-connected lifestyle that has become commonplace, we are more anxious than ever.

To keep from losing my GD mind, I have taken a step back. From the news, from the media, from my phone.

And let me tell you something – not knowing things have made me a much happier (and less anxious) person.

Here is how I did it, so you can too.

I keep my news intake to a minimum.

The news can be a garbage fire of everything terrible and horrifying. I like to be knowledgable citizen, but that also made a frantic, anxious mess. So I keep my news intake to a minimum.

I have been an NPR listener for years, but even the soothing voices of the hosts are not enough when talking about wars, death, and the like. That is why I have limited much of my news to NPR’s Up First and Marketplace podcasts.

I also spend far more time focusing on local politics than national news. The politics of my county and state affects me as much as whatever is happening in the White House. And I have more power to create real change locally than nationally. So I can put my time to good use.

I steer clear of most workplace/friend drama

Don’t get me wrong – I love my co-workers. Most of them, anyhow. But sometimes working in an enclosed space with the same people every day is like being in high school.  

I make an effort to stay away (and out of the drama). I do help my fellows with any work-related issues, or try to direct them to the correct person for help, but gossip dies with me.

I limit social media.

I have, over the years, unfollowed some of the more problematic family and unfriended some people that, for various reason, I didn’t want to be ‘friends’ anymore.  

A few months ago, I got a much more strategic and pretty much unfollowed everyone. Now when I log onto Facebook (on my desktop, because I deleted the app from my phone), I see only posts from a handful of close friends and family.

I have also been cleaning up my Instagram feed. I only follow feeds that make me feel good and unfollow or mute (the Insta form of unfollowing) the rest.

That’s how I did it, folks! Instead of trying to keep up with our fast-paced world, maybe a bit of deliberate unawareness is just what you need for self-care.

Now it’s your turn. What do you lean away from to save you sanity?

PS – Meditation is so worth it and four things I have done to simplify my life.

Photo by M.T ElGassier on Unsplash

Every morning I do the same seven things.  I wake up, and the whole process goes on autopilot.  It is my morning routine.

We are creatures of habit.  And a routine doesn’t have to be a four-letter word.  A daily routine or ritual provides comfort during times of change and transition.  There have been times when the whole day falls apart, but I was able to spend a quiet moment with coffee at my table.  That gives me a bit of comfort on those days.

We all already do this naturally.  With a few tweaks, you can quickly start your day off more mindfully and focused.  Trust me.  Or don’t, but try it for a few weeks and see what you think.

How do you create a morning routine?

Take a look at your natural rhythms in the morning.  You are probably 75% of the way there.  Now add a few simple things that bring you peace and help you focus — things like a walk, meditation, prayer, or daily devotion.

I also recommend taking a quiet moment to plan out your top three tasks of the day and loosely plan out your schedule.  You can always choose more to do and be more structured about your program, but try to give yourself a break.  Things happen and only have three things on your to-do list will help you feel accomplished at the end of the day.

Curious about my morning routine?

Here it is!  I do this every morning, even weekends and days off from the day job.  It is more structured and fast during the week because I have a time constraint (my boss does not like tardiness), but on the weekend I may sleep in and go through the flow slowly.

Wake up early.

During the week, I get up at 4:30.  I know, that is crazy, but I start the day job at 7, and I have found out over the years that if I do certain things right away in the morning, it makes the rest of my day that much smoother.

On days I am not working, and the weekends I let my body wake itself up (unless I have a breakfast date), so I may wake up at 4:30 naturally or I may get up at 6:30.  Usually, it is around 6.

Drink a large glass of water.

Drinking water is the newest addition to the morning routine.  We ended up with cases of water after my dad passed, and they were taking up precious beer space in our garage fridge. So I started to keep a handful upstairs to drink in the mornings.  I read somewhere that drinking water first thing was useful for you, so I thought I would give it a try.

So now I walk, in a zombie fashion, to the upstairs bathroom and grab the glass of water I put out the night before and start to drink while sitting and probably not thinking about anything important.  I used to spend this time scrolling vacantly through Instagram, but drinking water and staring into space seems like a better use of my time.

Shower/Get ready

Getting ready for the day is pretty self-explanatory and doesn’t take long for me, as I work in a warehouse.  Makeup is simple, and hair is natural (I don’t own a curling iron and the only time I use a hairdryer to put plastic on the upstairs windows before the cold air sets in the fall).

I also set out my clothes the night before, so there is no staring at the closet trying to decide what to wear.

Make Coffee

Another self-explanatory item.  Coffee is essential to me, more as a habit than a need for caffeine.

10 minute tidy

While I am waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, putter around the downstairs of the house, cleaning up.  I unpack and repack the dishwasher, wipe down the counters and table, clean up any glasses or other dishes from the living room, fluff the pillow, wipe down the bathroom sink. . . .

You get the idea.

Spending 10 or so minutes do this in the morning helps keep the house clean and makes it a much lovely place to come home to.

Mediate/Walk the Dog

I have played around with meditation on and off for years.  Since I focused on creating a daily meditation habit, I have been calmer and more focused.  10-minute meditation practice also fits easily into the day and I, for one, like to start my day with a bit of quiet.

When I have the time, and the weather is beautiful, I grab my dog and do a walking meditation.  When I have more time, I do meditation and a walk separately.

Plan for the Day

My very last task is to pour a cup of coffee and sit at my kitchen table with my planner, and figure out what is on my plate for the day.  I set 3 need-to-do goals and a handful of other to-do items.  The way the planner is structured, you set three goals for the week and then the idea is that your daily tasks should move you toward meeting those goals.

Leaning into your natural rhythms and putting your morning on autopilot is a beautiful way to start your morning with intention and focus.

Do you have a morning routine?

I knew that mindfulness had hit the peak of pop culture when I got an email at the day job from Corporate about their newest mediation program.

When mindfulness moves from Startup to Fortune 500, that means shit got real.

I am not a bandwagon jumper.  Out of sheer stubbornness, I will do the exact opposite or will knuckle under and refuse to try something out if everyone else likes it.  (Example:  I have never seen and refuse to watch A Christmas Story.)

But there was something about meditation that spoke to me.  While my middle school friends were planning their future wedding and naming their children, I was thinking about moving into a cabin in the woods and not talking to people for months at a time.

So sitting quietly with my thoughts is something I could get behind.  But I was surprised at how much I struggled with it at the beginning (and still do, sometimes).

It can be hard but mediation is so very worth it.

There is so much going on all of the time: family, friends, hobbies, errands, work.  And we all know how easy it is to get sucked into the social media comparison ring of doom.  Taking 10 minutes to sit quietly and breathe has helped with lower my stress, made me more content and helped with my productivity.

via GIPHY

As LaVar says, don’t take my word for it. You need to try it your own damn self.  Here is how to get started:

Read: 10% Happier and Mediation for Fidgety Skeptics both by Dan Harris.  Dan Harris goes through a whole journey in 10% Happier from being a stressed out, drug-doing journalist to, well, 10% Happier.  I think it was more than that, but that would ruin the title. His book on meditation is more of a practical guide, but they are great companion books.

Download:  Headspace or Calm.  I have tried both and ended up settling on Calm.  It is one of the thing saving my life right now. I love it so much that this winter during a holiday sale, I bought lifetime access.  They both have free trials and hand-holding guided sessions to get you started.

I know what you are thinking, this whole thing might seem kind whoo-whoo and a little ridiculous what do you have to lose?  It just takes 10 minutes a day to get all of the benefits and that is doable for everyone.

Especially since mediation can help you manage daily stress, help you stay focused, and might make you more compassionate.